Yes, My Cookies Are Better Than Yours.

Don't be mad, you should be thanking me for my tireless work on behalf of cookie lovers everywhere.

You can run through the same recipe 150 times to get this result, or you can cheat and just use mine...

It's true. They are better than yours. But I'll show you the tricks I have so you can make them yourself!

February 6, 2019

Well, here we are, the first entry, the inauguration of my blog. How exciting! (Insert the screeching sound of a record player needle scraping across a record here, then the music stops).

Have you ever typed in the name of a recipe you were looking for into Google? And once you find it, you click the link that takes you to a website with 5,000 words of bullshit adjectives and 95 photos of the same dish from different angles before they post the recipe? You won't find crap like that here.

Three things I hate:

1. Nazis

2. Websites that waste my time so I'll stick around longer and increase the average viewer time on their site

3. People who make lists

So, let's get down to business. I like chocolate chip cookies. And I've made a lot of them, at home and professionally.

In the '90's I was the manager of the bakery at the Costco near me, and at that time we made everything from scratch. EVERYTHING! All the muffins, croissants, cakes, frosting, cookies, pies and whatever else they threw at me during the holidays. We made an average of 200 dozen chocolate cookies everyday, 7 days a week. BTW, around 2005 Costco stopped making everything from scratch, as the products were too inconsistent in quality from store to store. The cakes and muffins are still made from scratch, but everything else is sent in frozen, baked off and then a single ingredient is added so they can claim it was made in the store, and get around nutritional labeling guidelines.

Anyway, we made lots and lots of cookies. And we were pretty good at it, but while they were made from just about the same ingredients you used at home, they weren't exactly like you'd make them at home. Mostly because we didn't use as much butter as the recipe needs, and they didn't cream the butter enough. My point is that I know a little about this process.

So, about 15 years ago I started making cookies at home, and mostly I wasn't pleased with the result. They were good, but I was looking for "the amazing cookie". And I wanted them to look like the ones I saw in the ads for Nestle Toll House cookies. I started experimenting with small tweaks until I got what I was looking for. Tall, soft on the inside, crisp on the outside, with a slight crunch and a pronounced taste of butter. And while I am still experimenting (they could always be better!), I have a few things I can show you that will change the way you make cookies. Then you can tell your friends that your cookies are better than theirs, just like I do.

Let me just say this; all recipes, including mine, are just guidelines. Change it up, add or subtract ingredients until you get the result you are looking for. That being said, when you are baking, be aware that small changes in the ingredients can make a big difference in the result.

First off, get yourself a bag of Nestle Chocolate chips. There is a recipe for Toll House Cookies on the back that is pretty straightforward. I have used just about every brand of chocolate chips and every variety from semi-sweet, to dark, to milk and finally to white chocolate chips. I would suggest using semi-sweet; there is enough sugar in the cookies, and the bittersweet chocolate helps balance that out. Nestle semi-sweet have the right balance I'm looking for, but dark is my next favorite (see below for more on that).

Here are the upgrades you need to make to the Toll House recipe to get perfect cookies:

• Cream the butter: when I first started out, I couldn't figure out why my cookies were so flat; I thought I was over-whipping the butter (I was wrong, more on that below). You need to beat the butter and the sugar until the butter has doubled in volume, the color becomes pale, and there is no gritty texture from the sugar what so ever. This should take about 4-5 minutes with a standing mixer. This will help increase the volume and light texture of the cookies.

• You need some crunch inside the cookie, and I have a secret that almost no one knows about: chopped up Heath Bar pieces in the mix will change everything about your cookie, and no one will ever figure out what you've got in there! You can buy them already chopped up (with or without chocolate on them) in most markets in the baking aisle. If you chop them yourself, you want them pretty small; smaller than the size of an eraser on the end of a standard pencil. Use chocolate covered pieces, pre-chopped pieces if you can find them. You'll need about 3/4 cup for one batch.

• I generally don't add nuts; I'm more interested in tasting the chocolate and the butter and the nuts seem to be a very prominent flavor when I do use them.

• If your'e going to use dark chocolate chips, sprinkle the cookies with a little Fleur de Sel (flaky sea salt, available at most grocery stores) before you cook them, the salt and the dark chocolate together is amazing!

• Ok, here's the kicker, the one big thing that will make a huge difference in your cookies, and I'm not sure why this isn't added to the package directions: REFRIGERATE THE DOUGH BEFORE YOU BAKE THE COOKIES. I'm not kidding, this one step will take you from amateur to pro baker in just one step!

Here's why this helps so much: when you make the dough, the butter is the only thing holding it all together. If

If you take the dough immediately into the oven from the mixing bowl, the butter is going to be room temperature and will melt very quickly when those cookies hit the oven. That leaves you with flat cookies, like a puddle with chocolate chips sticking out of them. All you need to do is stick the whole mixing bowl into the fridge for about two hours (if you don't have that much time, flatten the dough out on a cookie sheet and put it in the freezer for about 15 minutes). Whats going to happen is that the butter will take longer to melt since it's cold, and the cookies will have a chance to form a crust, maintaining the rounded shape we're looking for.

Then, get your cookie sheets ready, and once you get that dough out of the fridge/freezer, scoop the dough quickly into balls (about 1 1/2" across (I bought an OXO cookie scoop and now I can't live without it. You can get one here: OXO Coookie Scoop). Then get those babies in the oven ASAP!

If you can't wait till they cool, you can eat one after it's been out of the oven for a couple minutes, but it will be hot! I would say it's almost worth burning your tongue for.

Let me know how this works out for you, or if you have a better recipe than mine (I doubt it, but I'm willing to listen)!